Wedding & Marriage Tip: Loving & Friendship Balance?
This could be a thorny but serious subject and one you may want to read into, alone, on the internet yourself. As each of us are very different individuals, we may well have very different priorities. It appears surprisingly commonplace for couples to get on great as friends and companions, yet have imbalances in other areas such as sexual interest/ frequency/ physical intimacy. This may not matter - but if it does matter to you, or if you have any concerns in this area now or in the future, then read on.
Saying you should pick someone to marry who "makes you tingle at his or her touch," Iris Krasnow wrote about the importance of sexual attraction in your marriage. "Of course, when scouting for the right mate you also want to find someone who listens, someone whose opinion you respect. You want someone who makes you laugh and who backs away from an argument before it turns into a nasty fight. You want someone who is not too stubborn to say, 'I was wrong and you were right.' You want a teammate, not a control freak. Yet it is chemistry that you want most of all, and it is chemistry that makes the fights shorter and the relationship longer." Source: Iris Krasnow. "Good Sex Makes For A Lasting Marriage." HuffingtonPost.com. 10/09/2012.
About Marriage adds: Many of our readers who posted about living without sex would agree with Krasnow's beliefs that you "cannot invent chemistry" and "Sex does not get better with time if you never had the spark in the first place".
A 2005 survey revealed that 88% of marriages felt they had too infrequent sex. This is a huge proportion. Clearly there are serious issues a great many couples are having with Sexual frequency in marriage. Are you similarly matched in libido (high, low, or middling)? If there is an imbalance now (or later) rather than ignore this potential incompatibility, this tricky subject may merit some careful thought and open discussion between you.